#Growing up without a father how to
#Growing up without a father drivers

Let’s dive into coping strategies that I would like to share. I became more goal-oriented, mature, capable of making my life the way I want.Įven though I still feel sometimes that I need that wise advice of a father, I always try to think that I have enough wisdom in my heart and soul, and just keep going.

#Growing up without a father how to

I felt like I had to learn how to survive if I would end up single, especially with a child. Moreover, at some point, it became my strength. We do not choose our fathers, at least not if we talk from a scientific point of view. She cannot spend enough time with her kids for their adequate development. Therefore, it is a common sense that she has much fewer resources. Plus, if a father is fully absent, she has to make money to feed herself and her children. Therefore, a single mother has to be both for a child - a father and a mother. Obviously, it is tough to raise a kid (or a few). If we think more in-depth about these statistics, it’s easy to see why fatherless children are disadvantaged. But in reality most of the time we are fatherless for a reason - our benefit, our strength and our future. It is essential and beneficial to have a good father as portrayed in the movies, books or our own imagination. But I personally believe that sometimes it is much better to grow up without a father, if he is violent, bad-tempered, criminal, or if he is generally not a good person. Scientists proved that it affects a person negatively in multiple areas of personal life and well-being: Various psychological studies suggest that it is very unlucky to be fatherless. Therefore, my biggest question always was - what are we missing, what difference it would make if we had a chance to have relationships with the father?Īnd what can we do to fill in this gap, if we ever could? How bad is it to be fatherless There are a lot of people like me, according to the statistics. What is missing, what difference it can make?

You must be wondering, why am I writing about it at all?Įven though I consider my life as a really good one, I still have a question - would it be better if I ever had a father?įor many years I kept asking myself - is it essential to have one, is something wrong with me now, will I be able to have a good family, with the kids and backyard and a dog? Well, maybe I do not have a backyard and a dog because of that? Maybe I grew up into a goal achiever because of my insecurities? Maybe I tend to overthink things because I didn’t get enough support when I needed it most? My Mother worked hard to give me the best life and best possible education, she was the biggest supporter in my life. Thankfully, I have never felt excluded or laughed at. I actually felt that something was missing only when I was pointed at it by other people by the incident. Surprisingly, not the case.Įven though I felt certain discomfort comparing myself to other kids who had fathers, I was growing as a normal, strong and self-reliant person. īy now, you probably think that I’m living a sad, fatherless life. Psychological side-effects of an absent father are depression, suicide, eating disorders, obesity, early sexual activity, addiction-formation, and difficulty building and holding on to loving relationships. Hence, I have never had a chance neither to say hello, nor to cry out my goodbye. The only thing I ever heard about him was that he had passed away.

#Growing up without a father drivers

He never told me how proud he was when I got my Masters, drivers licence, first job, second job, when I launched my startup. He never carried me on his shoulders, never kissed me goodnight coming late from work, never told my future husband he would rip his head off if I ever cry, he never walked me down the aisle. have at least one ACE and that people with four ACEs- including living with an alcoholic parent, racism, bullying, witnessing violence outside the home, physical abuse, and losing a parent to divorce - have a huge risk of adult-onset of chronic health problems such as heart disease, cancer, diabetes, depression, anxiety, and alcoholism.I never saw his photo, never heard his voice. These studies have been conducted over the last twenty years and show that most people in the U.S. RELATED: Kids With Low Self-Esteem Get It From Their Parents, Says Science The life-long impact of Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs) has been demonstrated by landmark studies by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC)/Kaiser Permanente. It’s difficult to believe that childhood trauma can be at the root of problems that occur thirty, forty, or fifty years later. In order to help people, we need to understand why most people don’t recognize that they have a father wound or that it is the cause of many of the problems they experience in their lives.